Recently, RWA had their National Conference...in Dallas. Since I live in Northern California, that meant getting on an airplane and flying halfway across the country. For several years, flying has not been a pleasant experience for me. After 9/11 it has become a true phobia.
Actually, I don’t have a fear of flying; I have a fear of crashing, burning, dying; in that order. Once I’m airborne I’m fine. It is takeoffs and landings I fear. I grip the armrests in the handhold of death. My mantra is: I’m going to die; I’m going to die.
A friend told me the joys of Xanax. I took one just before my flight to Dallas. It was like being a child again, and experiencing the joy of being in a plane, of seeing the ground far below, and having the exhilaration of a roller coaster ride during the turbulence portion of the trip.
I believe all our phobias are the same. I also have a phobia of the new and unknown. I’ve had several agent appointments at conferences now, so I can do them no problem. This conference I had not only an editor appointment, but also a group appointment. Oh no, a double whammy, and my stomach let me know it that morning. I was thisclose to canceling my appointment, blowing it off. The only thing stopping me was the disappointment I would have felt in myself and from my friends. Okay, mostly my friends. Looking good to those you respect is a very good motivator. So, I deep breathed, I threw back my shoulders, chin up and determined, and sailed through the appointment with a request for a full manuscript.
Lesson learned: I don’t have a fear of flying; I have a fear of falling, of failing. Sometimes we have to fail, to fall down, so we can learn to pick ourselves up, dust off our sore bottoms, and try again.
Actually, I don’t have a fear of flying; I have a fear of crashing, burning, dying; in that order. Once I’m airborne I’m fine. It is takeoffs and landings I fear. I grip the armrests in the handhold of death. My mantra is: I’m going to die; I’m going to die.
A friend told me the joys of Xanax. I took one just before my flight to Dallas. It was like being a child again, and experiencing the joy of being in a plane, of seeing the ground far below, and having the exhilaration of a roller coaster ride during the turbulence portion of the trip.
I believe all our phobias are the same. I also have a phobia of the new and unknown. I’ve had several agent appointments at conferences now, so I can do them no problem. This conference I had not only an editor appointment, but also a group appointment. Oh no, a double whammy, and my stomach let me know it that morning. I was thisclose to canceling my appointment, blowing it off. The only thing stopping me was the disappointment I would have felt in myself and from my friends. Okay, mostly my friends. Looking good to those you respect is a very good motivator. So, I deep breathed, I threw back my shoulders, chin up and determined, and sailed through the appointment with a request for a full manuscript.
Lesson learned: I don’t have a fear of flying; I have a fear of falling, of failing. Sometimes we have to fail, to fall down, so we can learn to pick ourselves up, dust off our sore bottoms, and try again.
(Jill James, chapter president)
4 comments:
I use to fear flying...I had some horrific experiences when I was the Naval Reserves. Touch and goes, aborted take offs, really bumby rides, where in the back of the plane some Marine, I wanted to strangle, was yelping out, "Ride em cowboy," because the plane was sailing through the chop like a wild bull. It was that bad. Since 911, I've actually settled down, and stopped fearing it. If anything, I'd go down fighting. Just like my fear of agent/editors has subsided. I'll go down fighting. In Dallas, I met with an Agent, I keep internally calling 'my agent', I had no fear, wasn't nervous, the pitch went extremely well, and since then I've been in contact with her. Learning to just push aside the fears of rejection, failure, falling, crashing, is all apart of life. If I wanted to get from point A to B, I had to deal with flying. If I want to get published, I have to find the confidence deep inside to believe in me, and fly with it.
Lee, with your life, there isn't much I would fear anymore either. LOL, I'm working on the just keep flying part of my life. :)
Hi
These are interesting thoughts from people who had a fear of flying...and anyone reading them will I hope be encouraged by them.A fear of flyiing rarely has one cause.
We have a great site of more than 150 pages of free help for anxious flyers and a blog where I post messages of re-assurance, help and support for people whose lives are affected by this fear.
The great thing is that in most cases people do overcome their fears...like Lee did.
If you know anyone who's anxious about flying please send them along to our site...there's a mass of information...none of which will upset a worried flyer...many people stick with their fears because they are fearful of finding out things about flying that will make it worse. Our forum is without doubt the biggest help to people where they can chat with each other and talk through their feelings...not a chat room but a forum where people can say how it is for them...and then others who feel the same way can support them...and those that have been successful in overcoming their fears can 'talk them through' their feelings.
I hope you'll visit us.
Keith
Keith, great site. Sometimes it helps to just know others suffer as we do. Makes us feel not so alone.
Thanks, Jill
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