I wonder if I have what it takes to become a writer. I know I want it, but do I want it bad enough to make the sacrifices to achieve it? Are my writing dreams unachievable and hopeless?
Do I have the discipline to sit in that chair, to write; to tell my characters story. If I do write that story, will it be any good? Do I have the stomach to hear critiques of what I have put my soul into, not only from my friends, family, critique partners, contest judges but also agents and editors?
Today was one of those days as I sat down and compared my writing to others. Do I measure up? I haven’t written too much yet, haven’t even finished a book yet. I know I am not going to be Nora but do I have what it takes? What will others think of my writing, will it stink? Okay maybe it won’t stink and I have a lot to learn so now at this moment it may stink a little.
I am going to need a thick skin, determination and be willing to do lot of hard work. I am going to need the guts to accept the feed back and know when it will help and when to toss it out. Can I really do this? I don’t know that answer, but my heart tells me to keep at it, to keep trying. I am not a quitter, I may be negative at times but I will not give up. Every step in this journey will help me learn to build a thick skin and remember business is business and you shouldn’t take it personal.
Dreams are achievable, but in order for a dream to be achieved you have to go after it. Dreams don’t happen without a lot of hard work. I think it’s about time I really sat in that chair and started to climb that mountain towards my dream. So far I have only be walking in the valley not really making my dream a goal with measurable achievements that I need to hold myself accountable too.
Okay, so maybe I can do this, but it’s not going to happen overnight and I need to make a plan. It is going to take a lot of hard work and sacrifice. I could be as successful as Nora someday; and my first goal will be to complete my first manuscript and learn from it so I can write the second one. I will need to learn that it is okay to doubt yourself and have a few failures along the way, just as long as you never give up. Guess I will never really know if I can do this if I don’t try.
Lyn Emerson, Vice President
Black Diamonds RWA Chapter #206
www.BDRWA.com
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5 comments:
Lyn, I think we all have to ask ourselves, can I do this? What can I give up to make my dreams come true? TV? Shopping? Lunch with the girls? Maybe being room mother this year? That last one was me before I learned to say no, someone else can have a turn. LOL
We've all been there, and are still there. Don't compare your writing to anyone. I've seen so many talented writers do that, and its so damaging and depressing at times. Learn from the success of others, study their writing with an open mind. Its all individual. Yes, you can do this, and will do this. Remind yourself everyday, that you want this. Dreams do come true, but sometimes it just takes a lot of work, time and patiences.
I like Lee's comment, especially the parts about not comparing your writing to that of others (after all, you are the only you there is!) and about patience (a vital attribute to have in your kit for the long haul). I would add, remember to be kind to yourself in all this. We have heard so much about writing being hard work, and being published still harder, that I think we scare ourselves a little. In the flurry of "shoulds," we forget the basic fact that we started all this because we enjoy writing; we literally can't not write. As a good friend of mine told me long ago, "Don't should on yourself!" You have the interest, the capability and the drive -- or you would not still be here. Give yourself credit for that.
Lyn, your post really hits home with me.
Last night as I lay in bed, I faced the fact that I might really never have a novel published. All my struggle might be for nothing.
Why should I keep going? Why not burn everything? It would be so easy not to write! Such a relief!
I found my reason.
I can't think about whether I measure up, or about agents, publishers, critique partners, blogs, publicity, contracts... or Nora.
I have to think about my characters---my people.
Some of my people are very real to me, but they'll never exist if I don't write their stories. If I don't write, I let my people down. They'll never live. They'll die with me.
Somehow, I don't think I can let them do that.
My people are my reason to continue.
Each of us has to find a personal reason that makes this battle worthwhile. If we can do that, I'm convinced everything else in our writing lives will fall into place.
Take heart!
Sally
butt in chair, hands on keboard
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